what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
