Say something about gay babies.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
