Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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