Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
