If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I bet he comes in French.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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