I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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