If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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