Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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