im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
