I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
