i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
