so explain again why im purple
no
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
