those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
