i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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