I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
