do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
