so explain again why im purple
no
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
