Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
