Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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