I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
