id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I stole a fireplace last night.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She needs sedatives and a leash
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
