i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
