I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
