There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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