You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
