I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
