I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
