We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
