You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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