I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
