I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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