where am i from again
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
