My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
