I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
