Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize