he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
