I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
