I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
