There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm passing your future prison.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
