she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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