His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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