I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
