he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
