think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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