i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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