I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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