I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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