you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
