So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
