i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
