my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
